6 College Party Fouls

If you’re concerned about your social standing, it’s fairly likely that you’ll be very interested in the college party scene and how you can use it to your advantage to gain some social credit. And while figuring out how to do that is up to you, we’ll try to help you keep from losing any social credit.

In the interest of making you, the reader, the highest socially-ranked person on campus, here is a list of things not to do at any part—appropriately deemed “party fouls.”

1. Spilling a Drink

This has got to be the most common party foul. You drink a little too much, your balance and coordination go out the window, and pretty soon you find yourself holding an empty can of beer while the girl (or guy) next to you is making a terrible facial expression in your direction. Ouch. Just don’t do it.

2. Being Ridiculously Loud

Yes, parties are going to get a little rowdy, and it’s going to get loud. But if when the neighbors call the cops, they specifically mention you, and not the party, you’ve committed the second of the party fouls. Keep it to a reasonable level and at least the cops won’t be coming specifically for you.

3. Vomiting

Does this really need to be explained? Don’t do it.

4. Starting a Fight

Do you get belligerent when you start drinking? Then make sure that one of your friends stays with you throughout the night to make sure that you don’t start a fight. It’s extremely uncool, and will probably get you banned from future parties. You may also get your ass kicked, which is no fun either. And then not only will you be banned from future college parties, you’ll look like a fool.

5. Taking Somebody else’s Drink

This is one that usually happens by accident. If you’re at a house party, offer to grab the person another drink. If you’re at a bar, buy them another one. If it’s not an accident, and the drink does not belong to your best friend or significant other, 1) you’re an asshole, and 2) someday you’re going to take your college’s star linebacker’s drink . . . and you’ll deserve what you get.

6. Driving Home

This one should go unsaid, but there are quite a few people that won’t think twice about drinking and driving home. Don’t be stupid. Get someone else to drive or spend the night (many college parties end with a dozen or so people sleeping on various pieces of furniture—try to get the couch before anyone else does!).

While this list is certainly not exhaustive, it should give you an idea of what not to do at college parties. If you commit a small party foul, it’s not a big deal; but if you make a habit of it, you may find yourself without invitations to a lot of parties. And no one wants that. So think about what you’re doing, act your age (or at least somewhat close to it), and don’t commit any major college party fouls.


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